"Parental stress becomes an unseen rival to a child's success in the whirlwind of exams and responsibilities."
It’s that time of the year again, with PSLE, ‘O’ and ‘N’ levels and EOYs around the corner. Kids may be stressed, but parents in Singapore often find themselves stressed about their children’s exams too, and needless to say, this stress can negatively impact both parental health and the well-being of children. Laundry, zoom meetings, dinner prep, and work deadlines often start looking like impassable mountains. The additional responsibility of tutoring children and ensuring that they cover every last aspect of the curriculum starts to feel like firefighting.
Some effects of stress on both kids and parents during the exam season to watch out for may include:
- Reduced appetite
- Headaches
- Poor concentration
- Rapid heartbeat
- Insomnia
- Irritability
- Angry outbursts
Such stress-induced behaviour doesn’t foster an ideal environment for either children or parents to perform at their best.
As we prepare for the upcoming exam period, let’s start thinking about effective stress management techniques. Here are 8 tips to help:
1. Engage in Exercise
Physical activity not only releases endorphins, which improves the mood, but also distracts from stress and reduces stress hormone levels. Incorporating family workouts can create a positive bonding experience. Try out cycling at East Coast Park, a round of badminton, or even just a walk through a nearby garden. Getting out in nature and fresh air will allow everyone to take a breath and step away from the pressures of both work and school.
2. Practise Deep Breathing
Slow, deep breaths help the body minimise its stress reaction, overcoming the fight-or-flight response and enhancing oxygen intake for better tension reduction and improved cognitive function. Try doing a brief breathing and meditation exercise either alone or together as a family. Simple 5 minute videos such as ‘Breathing Exercises with Guided Meditation‘ are readily available on Youtube or on apps like balanceapp.com
3. Moderate Caffeine Intake
Even the smell of coffee beans can get us up and going. While caffeine is often turned to for productivity, excessive consumption can hinder sleep and exacerbate stress. Limiting caffeine, against all instincts, may prevent its negative effects. Try soothing herbal teas instead like Rooibos, Peppermint or Ginger.
4. Limit Alcohol
It may be tempting to pour back a shot or three of whisky whenever the stress button is on. Using alcohol to cope with stress can backfire however, as it affects brain neurotransmitters and leads to increased anxiety and stress levels. Drink plenty of water instead and try to get a good night’s sleep.
5. Take Screen Breaks
Netflixing or scrolling through the gram and TikTok may be your go to for relaxation after a long day of grappling with work and kids. Prolonged screen time however has been known to contribute to stress, sleep loss, and depression. Regular breaks from electronic devices are necessary to alleviate these negative effects. Try reading that book that’s been gathering dust or chat with a friend instead.
6. Prioritise Personal Time
Carve out moments for self-care, whether through leisure activities, relaxation, or solitary pursuits. These breaks rejuvenate and promote better sleep. An extra long hot shower, burning essential oils or even a quick foot massage should do the trick.
7. Form Support Groups
Sharing experiences and emotions with other parents who understand the challenges of work, life, and exams can provide valuable emotional support. Try joining the parent support group at school or create your own chat group with parents you know. With their permission of course!
8. Shift Focus from Grades
While some stress can motivate children to study harder, excessive pressure can be counterproductive. Kids often end up resentful of the subjects that they struggle with. Parents can get frustrated that all the tutoring or resources they have provided aren’t quite helping. Understanding that grades are not the sole measure of success however, is essential for both parents and children. Make sure you are affirming your kids for everything that they excel in too, and that you are not focused solely on the subjects with lower grades.
By adopting these techniques, parents can maintain healthier stress levels during exam periods, creating a more supportive and conducive environment for the entire family. It is important to remember that as adults, your mental health and well-being is important too. Here’s to more restful evenings, thoughtful actions and peaceful minds.
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