Love Myself

BTS: Pioneering a New Era of K-Pop

Rebecca Samuel · April 12, 2023 · Leave a Comment

"Young recruits don’t only have a lot to learn from BTS’ charitable contributions, this group of young men are also admired for their infallible work ethic. "

BTS has over 30 million followers at the time of writing, The #BTSArmy used to consist mostly of teenagers and young people, but data shows that a larger percentage of aged 24-35 have also enlisted, and this number is only growing.

BTS debuted in 2013 with their album ‘2 Cool 4 Skool’. They didn’t exactly become popular right away, but their hit single ‘I NEED U’ propelled them to stardom. The group continues to write and produce their own songs often, and the undeniable vulnerability and emotion they bring to their music has captured hearts all over the world.

Unlike many other celebrities who do not use their massive platforms for anything other than garnering attention or more fame, BTS have – thankfully – taken the path woefully less travelled. One of their wonderful contributions include the highly publicized ‘Love Myself’ campaign, which focuses on anti-violence, utilizing the hashtag #ENDViolence. Profits from album sales have gone to a plethora of social programmes supported by UNICEF Korea such as prevention of violence against children and teens as well as support programs for the victims of violence. As the first artists in Korea to raise funds for global campaigns, they have indeed made their mark in ways that inspire their legions of fans.

Photo by UNICEF UK

In 2018, Suga sent gifts of Korean beef to 39 orphanages. An odd sounding contribution perhaps, except that it was from a promise having to be fulfilled. At a fan event in 2014, Suga asked fans, “What do you want to eat?” Fans responded that they wanted meat, and Suga made the promise then and there, “I’ll make a lot of money and buy meat for you.” While most celebrities – and the fans – would have brushed it off as a joke or a funny comment made in the moment, the 29 year old remembered, and made sure the contribution was meaningful by donating to orphanages under the name ‘ARMY’ as a dedication to fans.

Young recruits don’t only have a lot to learn from BTS’ charitable contributions, this group of young men are also admired for their infallible work ethic. From their humble beginnings to present day, they reportedly continue to work on songs and music even while on tour, in hotels, planes and just about wherever and whenever they can squeeze time in. Most people expect young stars to be enjoying the money and the fame, and while surely BTS does so, they do it without sitting back comfortably, which assures fans that there are plenty of years left in this dynamic troupe.

Celebrities often influence people, especially young ones in intense, sometimes irreversible ways. BTS often shows their army that they haven’t been recruited in vain, and that together, they will fight on and win life’s battles to come.

My Teenager Hates Me

Rebecca Samuel · April 10, 2023 · Leave a Comment

"This is sometimes - to the teen in question at least - a gruelling process, as they grapple with new ways of thinking and being."

It may seem that way but they really don’t. Adolescents and teenagers develop a perfectly natural inclination to pull away from parental authority and construct their own sense of self and identity. This is sometimes – to the teen in question at least – a gruelling process, as they grapple with new ways of thinking and being. This growth process can lead to friction, and understandably so. What are some ways of dealing with the little kid who becomes an almost stranger to you overnight?

Try to review boundaries and control. Has screen time always been set in stone? Try easing up on this and other rules for a while if it is the source of all contention. Has bedtime gone from 9pm to who-knows-which-wee-hour of the morning? Try to talk to them about how it makes them feel and why they choose to sleep so late, instead of going straight to complaining and shaking your head at their new habits. Your rules and habits were there for good reasons, reasons which your teenager now chooses to ignore or reject. By understanding the reason why instead of immediately getting angry, you might get closer to a compromise.

Make time for your teenager. Give them all the space they need to form their identities, but make sure you allot times within the week where they know they can reach out to you, or even just be sitting next to you silently watching a movie. Part of making this time available also involves being open to whatever they want to bring up, be it issues with friends, a romantic interest, a difficult class or their physical changes. True, these aren’t conversations that just come up easily, especially if you have not gotten into a habit of asking and being open with each other from a young age, but it is never too late. Start by asking simple questions about their hobbies and friends if it’s hard to get started.

It takes a village to raise a child. Try and cultivate a network of loving, trusting adults in your life who have your teen’s best interests at heart, and who can be people that your teenager can turn to if they find it too hard to confide in you. Maybe your teenager is getting interested in the opposite sex or is curious about topics that you don’t feel comfortable discussing in your home. Having the aunt, uncle or family friend they trust whom they can approach if they are having problems, or if they just want to hang out with and talk to someone they trust who is not a parent, will be incredibly nurturing and helpful for a teenager to grow.

Be the person you want your teenager to be when they grow up. If they only see you being stressed out, complaining about how ungrateful they are, rushing from one thing to another and not taking time out for yourself, chances are they might end up emulating you. If you want them to study hard, show them that you take the time to read books, newspapers and magazines to bring up topics to discuss with them. If you want them to live a good life with a good job, be in a job that makes you happy and gives you balance as well! When they see you living the life you keep telling them you want for them, they might find it easier to grow.

Create shared experiences. Find an activity that you both enjoy doing together and if you can’t find a shared interest, you can always choose to volunteer! There are many volunteer organisations in Singapore that allow a teenager to volunteer along with parent supervision, and you can have an amazing time together helping other people or animals. You can even choose to do volunteering trips abroad, instead of going on a regular holiday. The shared experience working on a project together or just having fun together will create and cement a bond that you will treasure for life.

Some teenagers may be going through the second stage of the toddler’s “terrible twos”, but just as it took bucketfuls of patience back then, it will take an ocean of patience now to deal with a switched off, angry or otherwise indifferent teenager. Try some of the tips above and see for yourself however. There is a good chance that they will come around!

Advice to My Younger Self

Rebecca Samuel · April 8, 2023 · Leave a Comment

"As I grew older I realised that the problem with the advice wasn't the advice itself, but the delivery. "

As a teenager, it was often frustrating to listen to ‘advice’, which came from a whole range of sources. It wasn’t always older people spouting it either, sometimes it came from my peers. There was a time when I felt that I had already figured most of life out. I read books, observed people, knew who I was and felt rooted in my identity. Why did everyone feel the need to dole out mostly unsolicited advice?

As I grew older I realised that the problem with the advice wasn’t the advice itself, but the delivery. There was an assumption that all teenagers are the same, at the same level of maturity and intellectual capability even, and that well-meant counsel of sorts could help guide us in the right direction. I would eventually realise that most of these pearls of wisdom would eventually prove useful, if not directly to me, at least to someone close to me whom I could help out:

Start Saving as Soon as You Can

Got an allowance? Open a savings account if you don’t have one already or ask for access to the one your parents set up for you, and start depositing your savings in there. It’s never too early to start saving. If your parents allow you to, get two accounts, one for saving and one for spending, so that you can always keep track of where your money is going. Saving money is not an automatic skill that you obtain once you reach adulthood, it is something that you can start practicing even in adolescence.

Read Widely

In order to do well for your ‘O’ or ‘A’ levels? Well that’s just part of it. When you start reading widely from a young age, you expose your mind to a variety of topics and ideas which will not only turn you into a great conversationalist, but also into an intelligent, thinking, curious being who will connect with anyone, anywhere, making it easier for you to get a scholarship, ace an interview or even date the person of your dreams! Bill Gates, even with all his success, still reads 50 books a year to continue to improve himself and his various intiatives.

Stay Active

Get into a rhythm doing your favourite sport or engaging in a fun calorie burning activity, then keep at it. Meeting your friends for badminton every month? Don’t give it up once you guys go to University. Going for a run during P.E. once a week? Keep that going once you graduate from school. It is easy to get swept up in the excitement and busyness that adulthood comes with in your 20s, and to neglect this most fundamental task that will keep you flexible and healthy well into your 30s and 40s. You will thank yourself when you turn 50.

Pursue Your Passion

Don’t give up serenading people with your guitar, painting still life or playing basketball. You might never win an award or recognition for your talent, but that isn’t the point of your passion at all. Do it for your own enjoyment, spiritual growth and happiness. A lot of the time adulthood becomes about chasing the dollar or upgrading from house to house, car to car, promotion to promotion. Adults forget about the CCA or Saturday afternoon class that brought them so much joy and leave it behind locked up in their childhood. Don’t give up on your passion!

Don’t Smoke. Just Don’t

Photo by Anastasia Vityukova on Unsplash

Well personally I never did, but the number of people around me who tried ‘just one puff’ or who continue to be ‘social smokers’ still astounds me. Sometime I think the only reason they might have picked it up is out of mere curiosity, about the one thing that was consistently denied to them in adolescence. Well it’s bad for you, it’s bad for your lungs, and it’s bad for your wallet. All that money you started saving as a kid will fly out the window with the smoke, and really, it’s Just. Not. Worth. It. Don’t do it. Don’t smoke.

These are just a few pieces of advice that I would have given to my younger self. At the end of the day, it’s also important to remember that you will make mistakes and have regrets, no matter what you’ve done to prevent them or how good the advice you’ve taken has been, so hang in there. More importantly, focus on being happy.