bullying - CURIO SG

"Children are vulnerable. It's our duty as parents to empower them to recognize and speak out against abuse, no matter where it occurs."

It’s a sad truth we are seeing more reports about child abuse on the news in recent times, showing how vulnerable our youngest members of society are. Children are easier to hurt because they aren’t as strong or experienced as adults, and they trust grown-ups.

In 2023, a shocking video from Kinderland @ Woodlands Mart in Singapore showed a teacher being cruel to kids. They were forced to drink water and punished. It was a reminder that abuse can happen anywhere, even at school or by people we trust.

As parents, it’s our job to help our kids understand and be brave about abuse. This article is to help parents teach their kids to know when something is wrong, trust themselves, and speak up if they feel unsafe.

Teaching Them About Their Body Parts

When talking to kids about abuse, it’s crucial to give them the words to express themselves. Teaching them the right names for their body parts helps them communicate better. When they can talk about their bodies, it’s easier for them to ask questions or say if something feels wrong.

Kids also need to understand the idea of privacy for certain parts of their bodies. They should know that some areas are just for them and shouldn’t be touched by others. This helps them set boundaries and feel in control of their bodies. Check out our article on Emphasising Consent, Respect, and Boundaries in the ‘Powerful Talk: Parenting and Sex Education‘

Children should know that certain people, even adults like doctors, shouldn’t touch their private parts without permission or a good reason. At medical appointments, parents should always be there to make sure the child feels safe.

Boundaries aren’t just about physical touch; they apply to all kinds of relationships, like family, teachers, and older kids. Kids need to know that no one should have free access to their bodies. They have the right to say no to hugs or kisses, even from people they know well.

It’s important to help kids feel confident about setting boundaries. They should know they can choose who comes into their personal space and decide how others treat them. This gives them power over their bodies and teaches them that they deserve respect from others.

Spotting Warning Signs

In our efforts to protect our children from abuse, it’s crucial to help them recognise warning signs. From a young age, we should teach them to trust their instincts and notice anything that makes them feel uneasy.

Children need to understand what abuse is. It’s when an adult intentionally hurts or mistreats a child, and it’s never an accident. By explaining this to children, we give them a way to identify and react to potential dangers.

Physical abuse includes hitting, touching in a way they don’t like, choking, or beating. Children should know that these things are never okay, no matter what.

Emotional abuse is also harmful and can come in many forms, like threats, insults, or yelling. These behaviours can really hurt a child’s feelings and self-esteem.

We also need to teach children how to handle situations that make them uncomfortable. If they’re around someone acting strangely, encourage them to trust their instincts and get away. Let them know they can always talk to you about anything that worries them.

Using the Media to Make it Relevant

Photo by Glenn Carstens-Peters on Unsplash

In today’s digital world, media plays a significant role in shaping how we understand the world. As parents, we can use this influence to empower our children to speak up about abuse by making it relevant to their lives. It’s essential to remember to stay near kids when they’re consuming media, especially if it’s something that might contain sensitive content. Some media consumption might require parents to watch alongside their children to guide them through the content and ensure they understand it properly.

One effective strategy is to initiate conversations with your child about current events or topics portrayed in the media. Whether it’s something trending on social media, a news story making headlines, a new movie release, or a popular TV show, these platforms offer valuable opportunities for discussion. Check out our article on How Movies and TV Can Address Real-life Issues for Teenagers in ‘The Impact of Movies and TV on Teenagers Today’

Start by asking your child’s opinion on the subject matter. What do they think about a particular news story? How do they feel about a character’s actions in a movie or TV show? By engaging them in dialogue, you not only gain insight into their thoughts and perspectives but also demonstrate that you value their opinions.

You could watch an episode of a TV show with your child and then ask follow-up questions about the themes or events depicted. This interactive approach not only helps your child feel more comfortable expressing their thoughts but also encourages critical thinking and analysis.

Using the media as a conversation starter allows you to transition into discussions about sensitive topics like abuse seamlessly. You can draw parallels between real-life situations and those portrayed in the media, helping your child understand the relevance and importance of speaking up about abuse.

Teaching your kids about how to differentiate between good and bad characters in media is also important. Discuss with them the actions and behaviours of the characters they see and help them understand the difference between positive and negative role models. This not only enhances their media literacy but also reinforces important values and principles.

Overcoming Fear

When discussing abuse with children, it’s crucial to create a safe and supportive environment where they feel empowered to speak up without fear. One of the most important messages we can convey is that they should never blame themselves if they find themselves in an unsafe situation. Seeking help is not only essential but also courageous and commendable.

Children may feel afraid to speak out about abuse, especially if they’ve been manipulated or threatened by the abuser. They might worry that they won’t be believed or fear retaliation if they disclose the abuse. It’s vital to reassure children that they won’t face any consequences for speaking up about inappropriate behaviour. No matter the abuser’s status or authority, abusive behaviour must be addressed promptly.

Above all, children need to know that their safety and well-being are the top priority, and they should never hesitate to seek help if they feel uncomfortable or unsafe. By building a foundation of trust and support, we empower children to overcome their fears and speak up about abuse. Together, we can break the cycle of silence and create a world where children feel empowered to assert their rights and seek help when needed.

In conclusion, abuse knows no bounds—it can happen anytime, anywhere, and is perpetrated by anyone. Whether it’s in the classroom, within the family, or elsewhere, the impact of abuse on its victims can be profound and lasting. For children subjected to such cruelty, the experience is often fraught with confusion and fear. They may feel uncomfortable or distressed without fully comprehending the gravity of the situation they find themselves in.

In the face of adversity, children have the potential to become resilient and courageous advocates for themselves and others. It’s our duty as adults to equip them with the tools they need to navigate the complexities of the world and stand up against injustice. Together, we can create a safer and more compassionate society—one where every child feels empowered to speak out against abuse and reclaim their right to a childhood free from harm.

"Accepting that your child may be facing challenges and actively seeking solutions is a brave and important step towards creating a better future for them."

Imagine this scenario: Your child’s teacher gives you a call and tells you that your child has been bullying others. Or maybe other parents have approached you, complaining about your child’s behaviour. It can be difficult to accept, but there are moments when you must take a step back and admit that your child may be struggling with some problems. It’s difficult and many parents might try to downplay it or believe that people are just being cruel. It takes real courage and openness to acknowledge that your child needs help.

So let’s dive into this article and explore some strategies and advice for parents who find themselves in this situation. It may be time to face the issue and work together with your child to create a positive change.

Recognising the Problem: Admitting the Child’s Bullying Behaviour

It’s normal for parents to feel protective of their children and find it difficult to accept the possibility that they might be bullying other kids. To help kids develop and undergo positive change, it is essential to face reality and address the issue. To admit that your child has a problem requires strength and an open mind.

It’s important to realise that by acknowledging the problem, parents are not judging their child to be a “bad” person. Instead, parents are admitting that their child’s actions need to be changed because they are damaging to others. Denying the problem won’t help parents find the best solutions for all the parties involved.

Parents could begin by identifying the factors that have led to bullying in the first place. Bullying behaviour in children can be attributed to a variety of reasons, for example watching media content, such as TV shows, youtube channels or movies which depict violence. Children’s media consumption can affect how they perceive what is appropriate behaviour. They might watch confrontational or rude exchanges that are presented as commonplace or even humorous. These depictions may have an impact on their attitudes and behaviour toward others, and may include bullying. Parents should supervise and limit their children’s media use. They can build a critical knowledge of the media their kids consume by having open discussions about the material they see and the potential effects of certain behaviours seen on screen.

The home environment must also be examined carefully to determine if the child is being bullied by an adult or family member. Children who experience bullying at home may internalise this behaviour as a coping mechanism or a way to feel in control. While this doesn’t excuse their actions, it serves as a reminder that they need a secure and supportive environment.

Having a deep, honest conversation with your child about their emotions will help as well. When children are feeling unhappy, angry, lonely, or insecure, they frequently participate in bullying behaviour. Significant changes in the environment at home or at school can also cause these feelings to surface.

The Importance of Taking Bullying Seriously

Bullying should not be dismissed as a passing phase. Children who display aggressive behaviour may end up with long-term effects on their psyche. Bullies risk having serious issues later in life if they carry on acting in this way into maturity. It’s important to keep in mind, too, that bullying can have a long-term impact on the victim as well.

When it comes to guiding and teaching children appropriate behaviour, talk openly and honestly with your children. Firstly, ask them why they have engaged in bullying behaviour. Discuss the need for empathy and ask them how they would feel if they were in their victim’s shoes. Inform them that their hostile behaviour has been reported to the school or other parents, and explain why this is a serious consequence. Insist on how much you care for them while making it obvious that they need to behave differently. Go on to explain that you agree with the school’s punishment and that you do not condone bullying.

The positive discipline method is also a powerful substitute for punitive ones. It’s crucial to provide instruction and employ proactive measures that promote respect rather than depending exclusively on punishment. Setting clear boundaries is an essential part of healthy discipline. Your child needs to understand your rules and expectations so that they can behave appropriately and face the appropriate consequences. Children gain a sense of responsibility and an awareness of what is expected of them by being given structure.

Parent-Teacher Collaboration: Working Together to Address Bullying

Photo by Dee @ Copper and Wild on Unsplash

Set up a meeting with the teacher after having a comprehensive conversation with your child about this issue. Without making assumptions, pay attention to the teacher’s perspective. Discuss with the teacher your willingness to work with the school to resolve your child’s bullying behaviour. It’s crucial to let the teacher know if your child is acting out of character due to any household issues.

Parents may also want to consider getting more counselling if they need to. Counselling may help your child learn new behaviours, take ownership of their actions, develop empathy, and build healthier connections with others. Raising a child who is kinder and more empathetic can be accomplished through the use of cognitive-behavioural therapy, behaviour modification, and other techniques.

The following helpful counselling services are available in Singapore if your child needs counselling. They are not only there to assist children and parents in dealing with abuse and bullying but also to address a range of issues. These may include feeling overwhelmed by home or school, adjusting to life in a foreign country, sibling conflicts, self-injury, LGBTQ+ issues, and anger management.

Remember, stopping bullying behaviour involves persistence and consistency. You may assist your child in growing up to be a kind person who values other people’s rights and well-being by providing them with love, guidance, and a willingness to change. Keep in touch with your child and give them your support as they develop their interpersonal skills and learn to treat others with compassion and empathy.