Mind Your Mind

Nurturing Emotional Maturity as a Teenager

Nadya Sharfina · April 12, 2023 · Leave a Comment

"It is normal to feel overwhelmed at times, but if you are constantly feeling bad about yourself, it might be time to work on your emotional maturity."

Emotional maturity is the ability to have healthy relationships with others and manage your own emotions effectively. It is not always easy to become emotionally mature, but with practice, you can learn how to deal with your feelings more productively.

There are many benefits to becoming emotionally mature. You will be able to have healthier relationships with the people around you and be better equipped to handle difficult situations. You will also find that you are happier and more content with life when you are emotionally mature.

What Does an Emotionally Mature Teenager Mean, Exactly?

Being emotionally mature means having the ability to take ownership and responsibility for your emotions, practice self-awareness, set healthy boundaries, observe others with curiosity and follow someone else’s lead to better understand how to manage your feelings. It also involves being able to recognize when you have made a mistake to learn from it and prevent similar mistakes in the future.

Becoming emotionally mature allows us to lead happier, more fulfilling lives by developing meaningful relationships and taking charge of our behavior. With practice, we can all strive towards this goal and reap its many rewards.

The Importance of Taking Responsibility for Your Emotions

One of the most important aspects of emotional maturity is taking responsibility for your emotions. It is easy to blame others when we are feeling upset, but we must learn how to take ownership and navigate our feelings to reach a state of emotional maturity. This means being able to recognize our mistakes, admit when we need help, and apologize when appropriate.

Self-awareness plays a vital role here as it allows us to understand ourselves so that we can better manage our emotions. Taking responsibility for our emotions is an essential part of becoming an emotionally mature teenager.

Self-Compassion and Understanding Your Emotions

Self-compassion is the key to becoming an emotionally mature teenager. Self-compassion means being understanding and kind towards yourself, even when you make mistakes or feel overwhelmed by certain emotions. This does not mean that you should hide from or ignore your feelings; instead, it involves accepting them with love and understanding. When we practice self-compassion, we allow ourselves the space to grow, learn, and become stronger in the face of challenges.

Self-compassion also involves forgiving yourself for any errors in judgment and allowing yourself to move on after making a mistake. Acknowledging our feelings without judgment will help us become more emotionally mature teenagers.

Setting Boundaries and Owning Your Reality

Setting healthy boundaries is also an essential part of becoming an emotionally mature teenager. This means understanding and respecting your limits, as well as those of others. It is important to be honest with yourself when it comes to setting boundaries so that you can take ownership of your reality and stay true to yourself. Setting boundaries can help us develop meaningful relationships and ensure that we are not taken advantage of by those around us.

Self-awareness plays a major role here, as it helps us understand our feelings better and ensure that we do not cross any lines to maintain healthy relationships. By setting clear boundaries, we can strive toward emotional maturity.

Learning From Others and Observing Them with Curiosity

Emotional maturity is also learned from those around us. Paying attention to how other people respond to emotions can help us better understand our reactions and learn new strategies for managing them. It is also important to observe others with curiosity and without judgment so that we can gain insight into their behaviour and empathise with them. By following someone else’s lead maturely, we can learn valuable skills to become more emotionally mature teenagers.

Developing Emotional Maturity as A Teenager

It is a process that takes time and effort, but it is worth it in the end. Emotional maturity allows you to have healthier relationships with yourself and others, navigate difficult situations more effectively and feel more content in your skin.

If you are interested in developing these skills, there are plenty of ways to get started. Self-reflection and building self-awareness are essential, as well as seeking out support from friends or family members. There are also many books, articles, or online courses available that can guide on this topic.

The bottom line is that emotional maturity is something that anyone can learn – it does not require any special intelligence or aptitude. So, if you are ready to embark on the journey toward emotional maturity, then go for it! You won’t regret it.

How to Find Your Motivation: The What and the How

Santhi Rebecca · April 5, 2023 · Leave a Comment

"Everyone is used to hearing maxims like “Stay Motivated!” or “Persevere! You can do it!” but no one tells us HOW."

Whether you have had to live through trying to motivate yourself through the ups and downs of the school year in 2020 or whether you struggle with motivation anyway, this article is for you. Everyone is used to hearing maxims like “Stay Motivated!” or “Persevere! You can do it!” but no one tells us HOW. So, we stumble along, try this and that. Truth is, there is a method to motivation, and the key to getting there is understanding the WHAT. What is Motivation?

The What

Educational psychologists espouse two main types of motivation, namely intrinsic motivation and extrinsic motivation. Ever become so engrossed in learning or doing something that you forgot to eat and didn’t even notice several hours slip by? Intrinsic motivation shows up when we have such an intense, genuine interest in the topic or subject that learning itself becomes a pleasure, and an all absorbing activity. Extrinsic motivation is when we have an external reward at the outcome of our learning. Good grades or a reward from parents for doing well are classic examples of extrinsic motivation. Yet, while we may idealize intrinsic motivation, the reality of academic life often demands a balance between both types.

Intrinsic motivation is of course, highly desired by us all, and it has been linked clearly with higher levels of academic achievement and better mental health. It’s impossible for us however, to conjure up intrinsic motivation whenever we feel like it. Calculus can’t always be done in a burst of inspiration, and neither can that history essay on World War II.

Some people use a mixture of intrinsic and extrinsic motivation to push themselves. Enjoying the study of Shakespeare will be so much better with an A1 to show for it. Using a mixture of the two types of motivation is probably the best way for most students to push themselves and move forward.

The How: Intrinsic Motivation

Find a place where you study best, be it a cafe, your kitchen table or the school library, and stick to the few places where you feel both comfortable and undistracted.
Decide an order in which you will tackle your homework or study plan, whether it’s starting with the hardest bits first or the other way around, but have a plan.
Adults, nag less and praise more. praise creates intrinsic motivation when it’s heartfelt and celebrates effort (e.g. “you worked really hard,” vs. “you’re so clever”) and communicates encouragement, not pressure (e.g. “you’re doing really well, keep it up” vs. “you’re doing really well, just like I asked you to”)

The How: Extrinsic Motivation

They can be really really small rewards, but very useful. 45 minutes of studying followed by say, a bubble tea or 10 minutes of TikTok or a 15 minute power nap. Even ticking off a to-do list can provide a sense of accomplishment. Make sure it’s at least somewhat healthy or enjoyable without destroying your rhythm and focus, then get right back to studying.
Study in intervals and figure out the best combination for you. It can be 25 minutes of study followed by a 5 minute break or 75 minutes study followed by a 15 minute break. You do you.
Adults, talk to kids about their extrinsic motivations and then give them a little boost along the way, whether it’s hugs or Hawaiian pizza.

There are incredibly creative ways to keep your motivation going, and they do indeed carry on into adulthood and work life. Try different ways until you figure out what works best for you. Importantly, don’t kick yourself when you’re down. Everyone has bad days when they feel like they can’t get anything done. Move on to the next day, and try, try, try again.

How to Cope with Exam Anxiety and Perform at Your Best

Santhi Rebecca · April 5, 2023 · Leave a Comment

"As a student, you can take several steps yourself to prevent a build-up of stress. Stress is like an invisible load that gets heavier if you ignore it or choose not to deal with it."

Read the statements below. Does one or more of them apply to you?

“I often worry that it will be difficult for me to take a test.”
“I worry I will get poor grades at school.”
“I feel very anxious even if I am well prepared for a test.”
“I get very tense when I study for a test.”
“I get nervous when I do not know how to solve a task at school!”

These were the questions posed to 5,825 Singaporean students in a study conducted by the Organisation for Economic Cooperation and Development (OECD) in 2017. The response was disturbing: 76% of students reported feeling extremely anxious for a test, even if they were well prepared for it, and the results overall revealed high levels of stress and distress when it comes to academic performance.

This isn’t news to any of us. Students in Singapore have been exhibiting and complaining about stress for many years. The Ministry of Education takes a serious view of it and has taken and continues to take measures to combat this issue on many levels, especially before it takes a turn for the worse. To understand why this issue persists despite these efforts, it’s important to consider the deeper cultural roots of our education system.

One reason for this level of stress probably just goes back to our culture. Our predominantly Asian population retains an intense focus on the value and importance of education. Images of our grand and great grandparents spanking our ancestors and forcing them to study with candlelight over many hours comes to mind. Culturally, being only the very best at one’s educational pursuits has often been viewed as the only path to success.

Some steps you can take are:

Pay attention to your sleep. Having regular hours of sleep is more important to your performance than studying late into the night, and being exhausted throughout the school day.
Drink plenty of water. Water is brain juice, it helps to clear your mind and refresh your body.
Eat your fruits and vegetables! Bubble tea and fried snacks are yummy, but don’t forget to eat your fruits and vegetables regularly, as they are crucial for your well-being and overall health.
Communicate with a loved one about your problems, be it a family member or a good friend. Talking it out will help ease your mind and heart.
Set realistic goals. Don’t stuff your timetable with so much work that your mind becomes too exhausted to continue.
Have a plan! Planning out your revision will help you focus on your weaker subjects without neglecting your stronger ones.
Believe in yourself! Write out goals and notes of encouragement to yourself and stick it up on your laptop or even your bedroom walls! (You can get friends and family to write them too, the more the merrier!)